There are a lot of things that go into making a long-distance relationship work. But besides the big ones, communication, honesty, trust, there is a particularly exciting factor that I don’t think enough LDR couples know about. It’s called teledildonics.
Not what you were expecting? I know it sounds a little robotic, and you might be wondering what technology has to do with long-distance love.
Well, teledildonics is the combination of technology and sexuality. So, toys that are going to get you off.
What makes them special (and particularly important to LDR couples) is that many of them aim to overcome the problems physical distance creates in intimacy.
The people at Lovense recently sent me a Lovense Max and Nora to review, and I can’t wait to share my experience with you. Max and Nora are his and her sex toys that can be used alone and with a partner. Your partner doesn’t have to be in the same room, house or even country as you to control your toy.
Before I get into our experience with using the Max and Nora, let’s break down some of the specifics of each sex toy.
In my experience, most people are not as familiar with male sex toys as they are with female ones. Pretty much everyone knows what a vibrator is; not as many people have had any experience with a masturbatory device for men.
The inner sleeve of the Lovense Max is made out of a “skin-like TPE,” which is a porous material that is very, very soft. That sleeve is then encased in a plastic case, which houses all of the fun stuff that makes the Max vibrate and contract around your man’s member. It also helps make the sex toy look discreet.
If you live in a house with other people, you could probably leave this lying around and have them be none the wiser. Although, of course, I don’t recommend doing that. Although it’s nice that the toy is discreet, I do think that it makes it look slightly unappealing. It’s not particularly sexy to have a sex toy that could be mistaken for some kind of kitchen appliance.
Interestingly, the Lovense Max combines air-pump technology. These can be set to subtle, mild and deep contractions, and vibrations, which can be low, medium or high, to try and simulate the many different sensations of sex.
Plus, the air-pump technology is unique to Lovense sex toys. Whether this mimics the feeling of sex, we will have to wait to find out. “Air pump” doesn’t immediately scream “sex” to me, though.
The Lovense Max also comes with a Bluetooth chip installed, and this is what transforms it from a regular sex toy into a lifesaver for long-distance relationships. The Bluetooth capability allows your man to either hook up his Max to his phone so he can control it from there or connect it to your phone so you can control it from anywhere in the world.
The Nora is a rabbit-style vibrator made out of silky smooth silicone. It’s 4.72 inches long, which is a manageable length for most women (but, of course, you don’t have to insert it all the way in) and is not overly large when it comes to girth.
In addition to curved G-spot stimulating head, there is also a clitoral mound, which will help you get the internal and external stimulation that’s so important for maximum pleasure.
Like the Lovense Max, the Nora combines multiple sensations. In this case, it’s vibrations and rotations, which are made to feel even better by the beads that cover the shaft. You can control these vibrations and rotations by using the buttons on the base of the toy, or you can connect it to your phone and control it from there.
Also, you have the option to control them separately or simultaneously, so you can create a lot of different vibration and rotation combinations depending on what simulation you’re looking for.
In my experience, I did not find the vibrations to be especially strong. I will say that vibration strength is a personal preference though, so you can only really know if it’s right for you by trying. I prefer the strongest setting on my vibrator to be too strong because then I know at least one of the lower ones will be just right.
Again, the Nora uses Bluetooth to connect to your phone and computer or your man’s devices. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, this is probably the part you have been waiting for, so let’s get into the nitty-gritty of how the toys interact with each other.
The toys connect using Bluetooth. To get started, your partner and you should download the app to your phone or computer and then connect your toys. The app will guide you on how to do this, but Lovense also has a helpful guide to show you how.
Once connected, invite your man to be your friend, and you can start playing.
Besides helping you to control each other’s devices, the app also works as a messaging and video platform, so you can see each other and talk to each other while you play. If you don’t want to do this, you can still use Skype or a different platform and just rely on the app for its control features.
A quick aside: If you are using your toys for solo play, the Max and Nora both move to any music you like, and you also use the app to program that. Although not specific to long-distance relationship sex, it is a fun feature that you can always experiment with on your own and then tell your partner all about it.
The Chat app can be a little bit glitchy, and if you lose connection during play, it is hard to get back into the swing of things. In my experience, it is better to use a third-party chatting and video software (such as Skype) and not rely on the app to do too much.
To get the fullest experience of the Nora, I used it in three different ways: by myself, controlling it on the device; by myself, controlling it with music; and with my partner, while he used his Max.
My partner also used his Max in the same three ways, and I got him to report his experience back to me so you can have a little more insight on whether it’s a good sex toy for your guy.
So my first experience with the Nora was using it as a regular vibrator. I personally love the rabbit-style vibrators because they give me the inner and outer stimulation I need to really enjoy the experience, and I loved being able to adjust the rotation and vibration settings independently.
Overall, I think that the Nora feels good. It’s the right size for me and has a lovely soft feel. It’s not completely silent, but it doesn’t claim to be, and I think that’s a bit of an unrealistic expectation from a vibrator. If you’re going to use it while someone else is home, I suggest listening to music while you do (or using the music to control it).
The main thing about the Nora is that I didn’t find it to vibrate strongly enough, which is obviously a major drawback for a vibrator. Right now, most of the vibration is concentrated on the clitoral mound, and I think it would be better if it also vibrated as strongly on the shaft.
The second time I used the Lovense Nora, I hooked it up to the Lovense app and let music control it. This was a unique experience. You probably have a sex playlist of your own and have experienced how sex to music can change the way you and your partner move together. This was a similar experience in that the music informed how the toy moved and kind of transported me to a new place.
It was also really nice to have a hands-free play, which I missed when I had to press the buttons on the Nora manually. It’s fun to think about all of the experiences I can have in the future depending on the music I choose as well. It makes the toy much more versatile.
Finally, it was time to use the Nora with my partner! Although we do live together now, he controlled the toy from the other room. We used the video feature because I think it’s always better to see my man, but I think it would be just as effective to use your imagination.
We notice that the long-distance sex mode didn't work very well for us. We hoped that the movement would sync well, but seemed like Max and Nora contract and vibrated without much sync between them, as other users have reported.
My partner found that the whole electric air pump to provide suction and vibrations was barely noticeable even on high (as others reported). It's quite disappointing for my partner's pleasure.
There was a momentary glitch where the Lovense app lost connection, and it took us a little bit to get the groove back. This wasn’t super annoying at the time, but I can imagine it would be if it happened a lot.
Lovense was provided in exchange for a review, but all views are my own. All links are an affiliate, and I make a small percentage on every purchase.
Jennifer Craig has been in a successful long-distance relationship and started SurviveLDR to encourage those who want to pursue love with partners in far land.
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