There are a number of long distance relationships that started from a summer fling. As you know, summer days are the best time to go on a holiday. The weather is nice, you’re feeling the vibe, and everybody around you are looking extra fresh from the holiday mood. Then there’s this cute person you meet. You two hit it off instantly, became inseparable during the holiday period, until you realize that it’s time to part ways since the holiday is over.
For some of you, what you had during the holiday period is more than just a summer fling and you decided to try long distance relationship. It happened to me too, as I met my wonderful partner during a holiday trip. We eventually managed to overcome the obstacles and maintain our long distance relationship, but I remember feeling anxious and confused during our early days of long distance relationship. One question that I had in mind was how do I move forward from being just a summer fling to steady partner on a long distance relationship?
First thing first, I had to quickly analyze myself before I agreed on doing the long distance relationship with my summer fling. I knew that I wanted something long term and did not want to just enjoy the heat of the moment and I ensure that I made it clear from the very beginning. This helped me in setting a solid base in our relationship, which brings me to my next point.
Make Sure You Have a Solid Base
A solid base is important to ensure a steady relationship. I know it can be a tricky thing to discuss, especially when you two have just recently met and connect. But trust me, there is no harm in establishing a solid base in your relationship before you two decided to move forward the summer fling. I can tell you that it really can save your relationship many times in the future!
Establishing a solid base doesn’t have to be as major as discussing your wedding date. In my case, I managed to have a talk with my partner just a couple of days before we parted ways. In that discussion, we talked about our expectations and discussed our feelings. Only after we knew that we have a mutual solid base that we agreed to continue the relationship. Later on, we would always revisit that discussion whenever we face an obstacle in our relationship. That way, we can remind ourselves why we decided to be together in the first place.
Establish Mutual Ground Rules
Wait, don’t get discouraged when you hear the word ‘rules’. By rules, I don’t mean tight rules that can suffocate you and your relationship. That is not healthy. Instead, I recommend you to set some ground rules just to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page. This way, I hope none of you will have higher expectations than the other. Here are some rules that I believe are good to have:
- Set a communication routine
It can be daily, weekly, or whenever that best suits your schedule. There are some benefits of setting a communication routine. First, it shows a mutual commitment. Second, you can avoid feeling annoyed when your partner is unreachable. Third, it helps you to give something to look forward to, so you can maintain the excitement in your relationship
- Set the do’s and don’ts in your relationship
It is important to have a mutual understanding of what the two of you can tolerate in the relationship. That way, you can lessen the chance of conflict because you are both on the same page. For me, setting the do’s and don’ts is a way to test our partnership since the early days. When we have succeeded in establishing the terms, I know that I can trust my partner, so I now have more confidence in my long distance relationship.
- Have the same expectations
Having the same expectations will help you from feeling insecure in your long distance relationship, especially since you basically don’t know much about your partner in the early stage. Thus, I believe it is important to understand both of your expectations. I don’t mean that you two have to talk about wedding straightaway as you may want to take it slow and take your relationship day by day. Whatever it is, make sure both of you are heading to the same direction.
Few Checklists to Consider…
In this part, I will list down some questions that you may ask yourself to ensure you have a successful long distance relationship after your summer fling.
- Can you trust your partner?
- Do you see yourself together outside of the holiday destination where you two first met?
- Are you willing to get to know this person more than his/her holiday persona?
- Do you think that the two of you are compatible?
- Are you willing to put more effort in maintaining the long distance relationship?
If you answered yes to all those questions, then I believe it is safe to say that you have what it takes to move forward from a summer fling to a solid relationship. Now let’s enjoy the ride and do the best to achieve a successful long distance relationship. Good luck!