We’ve all seen them: books that say, “1000 Questions for Couples.” However, for long-distance couples, that list might be a little different. There are definitely some questions that LDR couples should be asking each other on a regular basis, but are we?
Here’s a list of 50 questions for you and your significant other to ask yourselves. Some of these questions are more loaded than others, but try to answer them all. Don’t simply skip one because it seems hard—that’s the point.
You also should be elaborate with your answers. Take No. 8, for instance: Do you trust me? If your answer is, “Yeah, usually,” go in-depth about why you feel that way and how you can make the answer, “Yes, always!” next time.
This exercise is meant to be not only fun but also informative about your relationship habits.
- What are we going to do this year to help us close the distance?
- How can we save money for visits?
- What is one goal for us as a couple?
- How can we better communicate this year?
- What is one thing we learned last year about our relationship that can help us better our relationship this year?
- Did our communication habits work for us last year? If not, how can we fix them to be more successful this year?
- What special occasions are coming up? How do we want to celebrate?
- Do you trust me?
- Do you think I trust you?
- Where do you see us at the end of this year?
- When do you want to close the distance?
- When do you think is a reasonable time frame to close the distance?
- How has distance helped us grow individually?
- Where do you want to be in five years? Ten years?
- What is one piece of advice you would tell someone about long-distance relationships?
- Do you ever regret doing long distance?
- What is something you want to learn to do this year?
- What is something you want to learn together?
- Do you ever get jealous? Explain some situations that spark jealousy.
- Are you ever afraid that I’ll cheat on you?
- Are you ever afraid you’ll cheat?
- What is your least favorite part of a long-distance relationship?
- What is your favorite part of a long-distance relationship?
- Did you have doubts when we first started long distance?
- If we had a child someday who ended up in a long-distance relationship, would you support it? What three pieces of advice would you give to them?
OK, you’re halfway there. How is it going so far? Take some time for the two of you to answer these next questions internally.
- Has any of her/his answers surprised you?
- Do you feel like any of these questions caused friction between the two of you?
- Do you want to go back and discuss any of these questions again? If so, write them down.
If you feel like you’re ready to move on to the next set of questions, go right ahead!
- Have we both been doing our part to close the distance?
- What are you looking forward to most when we close the distance?
- What about long distance is easier than you expected?
- What about long distance is harder than you expected?
- Do you feel loved?
- How can I make you feel special even when we can’t be together?
- What kind of date nights could we incorporate into our relationship when we are apart?
- What would you consider your greatest weakness when it comes to our relationship?
- What quality about me do you envy?
- What quality do I have that you wish I didn’t have?
- What moment in our relationship did you feel loved the most?
- What was one defining moment in our relationship?
- Do you think your family supports our relationship? If they don’t, why not?
- Since starting long distance, do you think we have grown as a couple?
- Since starting long distance, do you think you’ve grown as an individual?
- Who is your biggest role model?
- Would you change any aspect of our relationship?
- Would you change any aspect of yourself?
- When the day comes, how do you want to celebrate closing the distance?
- What things do you look forward to most in life?
- How can I better support your dreams?
- Do you ever feel like being in a long-distance relationship holds you back?
- What do you look forward to most this year?
- What do you want to be our relationship goals for this year?
By the end of this exercise, hopefully, you feel closer as a couple. In a long-distance relationship, communication is everything, so revisit these questions every six months to a year.
If you make it through these 50 questions and are looking for more, check out 1000 Questions for Couples, written by best-selling author and relationship expert Michael Webb. With 1,000 questions, there’s no chance you and your long-distance man will run out of things to talk about anytime soon.