I don’t know why, but when I’m sad or going through a breakup, instead of listening to happy music, I actually like listening to sad music, especially if I can find one that makes me feel as if it’s specifically written about what I’m going through. The sadder the better!
Some might think that if you’re in a long-distance relationship, then it’s a little masochistic to want to watch movies about long-distance relationships. Wouldn’t it just make you even more sad? Well, yes, it might do that, but I actually love it because it makes me feel less lonely. It gives me hope, and it reminds me of why we’re putting ourselves through this. Sometimes I even find myself yelling at the screen—probably with a Kleenex in hand—“But why are you fighting about that? It doesn’t even matter!” So, yes, it even helps me self-reflect.
Ready to press play? Here are my favorite movies for anyone who’s in a long-distance relationship.
Like Crazy (2011) was at the top of the list for me. Starring Anton Yelchin and Felicity Jones, this drama is about Anna, a British foreign exchange student, who falls in love with Jacob while she is studying in the U.S. At the end of her degree, she struggles with leaving him and decides to stay, despite her Visa restrictions. When she tries to re-enter the country, she is unable to, thus marking the beginning of their long-distance journey.
I liked this film because it felt so real. The struggles, the challenges and the emotions are depicted so well, and their emotions are so raw. I’m sure a lot of us in LDRs have had doubts and have felt insecure or jealous, and these actors deliver. What’s even more impressive is that the actors apparently improvised almost all of the dialogue. This film was also really sweet. Some of the things the couple did for each other were oh-so-romantic. Definitely a must watch!
Favorite scene: In the beginning of their relationship, Jacob asks Anna to read him something, so she reads him something she wrote about love, and it’s just so beautiful!
Favorite quote: I couldn’t pick, so here are my favorite two.
“But the things we have with each other that … that I don’t have with any other person, with any other human being apart from you. We should be with each other, and I feel it so strongly, and I feel like it’s right for us to get married.”
“What have you been doing?”
“Waiting for you.”
The Notebook (2004) is a very close second. I’m sure all of the hopeless romantics out there have seen this movie at least once. I have watched this movie over and over again because of the very powerful love story between Allie and Noah. The film starts off with an old man, reading a story to an old woman in a nursing home. He tells the story of Noah meeting Allie at a carnival while she was on a summer holiday. However, coming from very different backgrounds—Allie is from a very rich family and Noah works at the lumberyard—her parents do not approve. Very suddenly, Allie’s parents takes her back home.
There are so many reasons I love his film, but one of them is definitely the chemistry between Allie and Noah. From the beginning, you know they were meant to be, and I think for a lot of us in LDRs, we experience that feeling, too. That’s why we’re willing to do whatever it takes—no matter the distance—to be with our significant other. This movie definitely reminds us that relationships are hard, but if you love each other, you will find a way.
Oh, and if you need another reason to watch this movie, Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams star in it!
Favorite scene: the scene when they’re arguing (very passionately) in the rain, which leads to a steamy bedroom makeup session
Noah: “Well, that’s what we do, we fight. You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch, and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99 percent of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a two-second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.”
Allie: “So, what?”
Noah: “So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.”
Going the Distance (2010) is a good one to watch if you want a good laugh. Erin, played by Drew Barrymore, works as an intern journalist, who meets Garrett, played by Justin Long, who just got dumped by his girlfriend. Neither of them wants a serious relationship, but at the end of Erin’s internship, they both realize their relationship was more than just a fling. However, Erin has to return home to finish graduate school and later is offered a job. But Garrett is still working in New York.
Not only is his movie is fun and easy to watch, but they also do a good job on reflecting the insecurities that couples go through when in long-distance relationships. One of the suggestions Garrett’s friends give for being in an LDR is phone sex. This movie will show you what not to do.
Favorite scene: This scene wasn’t really about the couple, but the scene where the family is having dinner with some friends after Erin and Garrett had sex on the table is hilarious!
“I don’t want to lose you. Fuck the miles. Fuck ’em! I’ll be here, and you’ll be there, and we’ll just, we’ll be long-distance. Because, quite frankly, I’m crazy about you.”
So there we have it: three movies to help you survive your long-distance relationships. There are some great apps to help LDR couples watch movies or videos together. They let you watch the same video at the same time so you don’t have to time when you press play.
What are your favorite movies to watch with your significant other?
Rachel is a doctoral student studying romantic relationships in Auckland, New Zealand. She writes about her long-distance relationship on her website, thedistancebetweenusblog.wordpress.com.
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