We all love to fantasize. We love to make a perfect picture of our life, whether financially, socially or romantically. These fantasies further tend to increase when we establish a new relationship, and, if it is a long-distance relationship, these fantasies just grow beyond limits. We start believing that all our dreams are going to be fulfilled.
It is a general tendency that if we are attracted to someone, we start thinking good about that person. If we like someone’s personality, dressing style and looks, we tend to believe that he is also a kind and genuine person, even if we don’t know anything about him in reality. In the initial phase of a relationship, attraction between two partners remains at its peak, and this becomes the reason for them to see things with rose-colored glasses.
So, what actually are these rose-colored glasses? It is fantasizing about someone that he or she is just perfect with only ideal qualities, either unknowingly or without realizing the truth.
But why do we like to put on these glasses? Because this effect gives a false illusion of perfection that helps in bringing a feeling of happiness and satisfaction, but it is not at all a healthy practice because more fantasies and less clarity in a relationship becomes the reason for many confusions.
But is it really justified to make things look beautiful with rose-colored glasses for our own convenience, even if they are not? By doing this, it becomes easy for us to accept things, but illusions never last for long, so it’s better to remove those glasses and see people for their true selves. Here are five steps for how to remove rose-colored glasses in long-distance relationships.
Are You Wearing Rose-colored Glasses?
In long-distance relationships, communication is the primary source of interaction between the mates, either by doing phone calls, video chat or texting. In the start of a relationship, sometimes it becomes hard to recognize the good and bad part of a discussion. We generally aren’t able to understand that whether the other person wants to dominate in a relationship or is saying this for our good. There is a fine line between the two, but the rose-colored glasses makes it difficult for us to see that. We start believing that whatever the other person is saying or doing is for our good.
Are you also thinking the same way? Instead of raising objection on things that are against your will, are you also taking these things lightly and looking on everything with rose-colored glasses? Ask yourself, and use the right perception.
Once you will understand that you are using rose-colored glasses in your relationship, whether it’s long distance or short distance, it becomes easier for you to do things that can help in reduce that effect. I also suggest that you should try to do that because sooner or later, when you will realize the reality, it will turn out to be quite different from your perception, and then it would be easier for you to accept that.
Now, get to understand the ways in which you can get rid of the rose-colored glasses.
Ways to Remove the Rose-colored Glasses
- Accept that no one is perfect. Accept that no one on this earth is perfect. Your partner is a human with their own strengths and weaknesses. Don’t impose the rules of being ideal on him because, by doing this, you are making things difficult for him and for yourself as well. Try to keep things simple and more realistic.
- Note the differences. Two different individuals have different perspectives, viewpoints, likes, dislikes and personalities. Note the differences between you two. Note which of his habits can annoy you or which you can adjust to later when you both will come close after having a long-distance relationship. No matter how long we wear rose-colored glasses in a long-distance relationship, time will come when we have to face the reality. It doesn’t mean that it is going to be really bad. It just that the less we fantasize and the more we accept the reality, it would be easy to adjust with everything because it is definitely going to be quite different than our imagination.
- Keep your eyes and ears open. In relationships, especially when they are new and involve distance, it’s important to keep your eyes and ears open. Don’t take any suspicious activity of your partner lightly just because you are using rose-colored glasses in relationships. Use your mind to note and judge everything correctly, and make yourself clear if you have any doubt regarding his activities. It’s also important to maintain healthy communication in relationships.
- Be yourself. Show your real self in a long-distance relationship whether. In an LDR, the risk remains high that the other person isn’t showing his real self, but you should avoid making a false image of yourself. It will not only benefit your relationship, but the other person will also get to know the real you. Maybe he would also be interested in establishing a love-filled and long-lasting relationship. It’s pointless to lose a potential partner. You might not able to notice the imperfections in your partner in the starting of a relationship due to rose-colored glasses, but don’t make false assumptions that he is the ideal man without any imperfections. Remove those rose-colored glasses, and accept reality. It will make you — and your relationship — stronger.
- Don’t forget to ask yourself. Do you think only positive about your partner due to rose-colored glasses? Did you in your previous long-distance relationship?