Esthesia Review: Take Your Orgasms to the Next Level with this Sex Toy

Technology has come a long, long way for LDR relationships especially with my personal favorite, long-distance sex toys.

One remote-control sex toy that is conveniently located in my bedside table drawer is the Esthesia by Vibease. My husband and I are big fans of the original Vibease, so I was eager to try out it out and share my Esthesia review.

Product Review: Esthesia by Vibease

Use: It's an app-controlled clitoral and G-spot stimulator

What I like
  • Design with a nice silicone body that's safe and easy to clean
  • it's a powerful vibrator that's quiet enough
  • You can play with your partner even if they are anywhere in the world
  • check-circle
    A feature that sync's the toy to fantasy stories found on the site, and vibrates accordingly
What I don't like
  • Because it's app controlled, it takes a while to set it up, and get used to the technology. You and your partner should both learn the app to enjoy all that it offers. 

Summary: When Vibease picked the name Esthesia—it means the capacity for sensation or feeling; sensitivity—they weren’t wrong. Although there are some kinks to be worked out with the technology, when it comes to long-distance sex toys, the Esthesia is just what you need to spice up your long-distance sex life.

Esthesia by Vibease

Important Things to Know

I’ll go into more detail, but here are the most important things to know about the Esthesia:

  • The Esthesia has a clitoral and G-spot stimulator. With powerful dual stimulators, you get double the pleasure. The powerful vibrations aren’t silent, but they’re quiet enough.
  • It’s powered by the same smart technology as the Vibease, which means you can play with your partner from anywhere in the world.
  • You can take the Esthesia for a solo ride while listening to an audiobook available in the Fantasy Store.
  • It has a sexy silicone body that is safe and easy to clean.

With both Vibease products, it takes a little time to learn how to work with the technology—and there are some slight issues with the usability of the app—but once you understand how it works, the Esthesia is a great introduction to long-distance sex toys. Especially if, like me, you prefer vibrators that provide external and internal stimulation.

If that’s all you need to know, the Esthesia usually sells for $139, but you can get our special discount if you apply the code Jennifer at checkout or click on this link.

If you want a few more details—read on for a detailed description of my erotic experiences with the Esthesia.

Keep the Intimacy Alive


One of the big things long-distance couples have to figure out is how to keep their sex life exciting when they don’t get to see each other as much as they’d like. According to research at the Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, people in long-distance relationships usually live anywhere from 30 miles to 950 miles apart, with the average couple living 125 miles apart. That means they are typically only seeing each other once every month in a half—if they’re lucky.

I remember when I first started dating my husband long distance. After weeks of sexting, Skype sex, sexy videos and sexy recordings, I started wanting something more.

That’s where Vibease Esthesia comes in. It can be controlled by pushing buttons on the vibrator, or you can control it by the app.

If you’re looking to add more spice, intimacy and connection to your long-distance relationship— and you crave the internal and external stimulation—the Esthesia is a great option.

Go For the Blended O


The Esthesia is the Vibease on the next level. The soft silicone, flexible body almost feels like skin, and the carefully molded tips massage the clit and the G-spot at the same time, leading to perfectly blended orgasms. A blended orgasm is when you stimulate more than one erogenous zone at the same time. Because you are pleasuring the clitoris and G-spot at the same time, the blended orgasm is a more advanced and harder to achieve.

The easiest way to achieve a blended orgasm is with toys, such as the Esthesia. And as always, the more aroused you are, the easier it will be. Exchange some naughty texts with your long-distance love before you whip out the Esthesia.

With the Esthesia, the classic curved design allows you to alternate pressure between your clit and G-spot. Because it’s made of a very soft silicone, you can move the vibrator around, experimenting with different angles and intensities until you find your rhythm.

As your man controls the app from afar, he might tease you to prolong the pleasure. But trust me, the longer he delays your orgasm, the more intense it will be.

Don’t get me wrong: The C-spot orgasm you get from the Vibease always feels good. But imagine blending the pleasure of the clitoral orgasm with the much more intense pleasure of a G-spot orgasm. By simultaneously massaging both zones, you get a deeper, longer experience. Plus, your blended orgasm might just drive your man over the edge, too, even if he is a thousand miles away.

Another thing I love about the Esthesia is that it’s super quiet. Although the Esthesia isn’t a wearable vibrator, it’s still best when no one but you—and your man—know that you’re using it. The Esthesia is incredibly quiet, even at the highest vibration setting, so if you’re using it at home, some low music should mask the noise of the vibrator. You, on the other hand, might not be able to contain your screams.

Take Cybersex to the Next Level


The Esthesia might not be as simple as cybersex, but once you figure out how it works, you’ll be glad you did.

To use the Esthesia with your man, you both must download the Vibease Chat app.

Once you download the app, you’ll create a profile. Choose a nickname, pick your gender and upload a profile picture. The app will walk you through how to connect the Esthesia to your smartphone or tablet. Don’t forget to make sure your Bluetooth is turned on!

With the Esthesia, there are preset vibration settings but you don’t have to limit yourself to those. One of my favorite features of the Esthesia is that you—and your man—can create your own custom vibration patterns. I mean, hey, no one knows your body as well as well as you two, right? Plus, if things are getting really hot and steamy, just touch the screen to control the vibrations and build intensity in real time.

Live Out Your Fantasy


Do you wish you were cast as Anastasia Steele in 50 Shades of Grey? Well, with the Esthesia, you can pretend you are and that Christian Grey is in your bedroom.

If you ever want to use the Esthesia alone, it has a cool feature where it vibrates in sync with fantasy stories, so you can turn on a little erotica and let the vibrations do the rest. The experts at Vibease know that women like to fantasize more than visualize when they are trying to experience the Big O. In fact, on average, women have more romantic fantasies than men each month. So audio plays an important role in getting women excited.

Depending on what you’re listening to—I’m partial to audio books with names like Quick and Dirty and The Rub Down—the vibration will change. Imagine listening to Ride Me while the vibrator pulses in perfect sync. Simply connect your vibrator to your phone, select a fantasy story that suits your mood, put in your ear buds, and enjoy the ride to the book’s—and your—climax. If you’re really having a good time, you can extend the experience for as long as you want.

If you use the Esthesia on your own, pairing it up with one of the fantasy stories is definitely a fun experience.

Spice Up Your Sex Life



The verdict? My husband and I love the Esthesia. My husband knows me well, so when he was controlling the vibrations, it was just right. It was thrilling to let go and let someone else take control.

Not only is the vibrator cute—it comes in pink or purple—but it’s comfortable and waterproof. Plus, it’s USB rechargeable.

When Vibease picked the name Esthesia—it means the capacity for sensation or feeling; sensitivity—they weren’t wrong. Although there are some kinks to be worked out with the technology, when it comes to long-distance sex toys, the Esthesia is just what you need to spice up your long-distance sex life.

The Esthesia usually sells for $139, but you get our special discount if you apply the code Jennifer at checkout or click on this link.

Have you tried this smart sex toy? Let me know what you think of my Esthesia review.

The Esthesia was provided in exchange for a review, but all views are my own. All links are an affiliate, and I make a small percentage on every purchase.


Product Review: Esthesia by Vibease

Use: It's an app-controlled clitoral and G-spot stimulator

What I like
  • Design with a nice silicone body that's safe and easy to clean
  • it's a powerful vibrator that's quiet enough
  • You can play with your partner even if they are anywhere in the world
  • check-circle
    A feature that sync's the toy to fantasy stories found on the site, and vibrates accordingly
What I don't like
  • Because it's app controlled, it takes a while to set it up, and get used to the technology. You and your partner should both learn the app to enjoy all that it offers. 

Summary: When Vibease picked the name Esthesia—it means the capacity for sensation or feeling; sensitivity—they weren’t wrong. Although there are some kinks to be worked out with the technology, when it comes to long-distance sex toys, the Esthesia is just what you need to spice up your long-distance sex life.

From Friend to Lover: When to Enter a Long-distance Relationship

When we fall in love with someone, we take a risk of being broken and hurt. We put trust in them, and we want to be with them—no matter what people say about them. They are perfect, and every flaw they have seems irrelevant. It feels like they are beautiful creatures sent from heaven to help us through living the hell.

That is when we start to make the commitment to stay with them no matter what, to make them happy on their worst days and to trust them when no one else does. That’s when a relationship begins.

But how do we know when to start a relationship, especially a long-distance relationship? When do we know that we should take the big risk of losing them by having them? Especially given the commitments that need to be considered when you add distance to the contract. Being in a relationship with someone who lives miles away means we take double the risk of being hurt and deceived.

But this not about how to never be hurt in a relationship. When you are in a relationship, you have to be ready to be hurt and disappointed. Here are four signs that that person is worth the risk.


It’s not just small talk.

Talking with this one person every day, this person who makes yourself feel jiggly happy, makes you think that maybe this one person is worth to try. But stop right there! Don't say yes when that person asks you out. Don't just trust him (or her) because they said you are the one. You need to have deeper connections than just texting or calling every day. You need to make sure you and that person are on the same boat before you can be sure they're worth the distance.

Do you ever talk seriously about you two? Have they ever mentioned that they will work as hard as you to make whatever you will have in future work? If you have, then you can recall how serious they take you before you say yes. Before you plan visits and homecomings, you need to know, in detail, that the person you are going to be with has the same view of the next step in your relationship. Yes, you can take the risk and just let yourself be happy.

Yes, you can take the risk and just let your happy self decide, but you have to remember distance changes people. Over time, the needs, the hunger and the temptations change them. Don't waste your time with someone who does not take you seriously and thinks that it is OK to fool around. No, honey, you are worth more!

They try to meet your needs.

Being miles away from someone you love means you have to work hard on being with them, whether in person or over the phone. For those who are just hours away, hopping on a domestic flight or driving to see the loved one is easy. For those who live in different continents, it means sleepless nights and staying up late just to let them know you are always going to be there.

If you ever wonder whether the other person feels the same way as you feel, you need to take a look at how they try to meet your needs of them. Is it always you that is staying up late and making the phone call? Or is it your turn this week and his next week? Talking about the plans or just setting the goals doesn't mean that the person is worth the risk. They need to work along with you to make the relationship work. A relationship takes two people. Do not work hard for those who don't even try.

Be realistic.

When you are in love, everything in this world seems irrelevant. Your loved one is everything your life is about. You have the unrealistic dreams to be with them. You suddenly only think about them. You risk throwing away your dreams and instead of working toward them. Stop! It is not healthy.

You need to be realistic and open-minded. If the person you are going to be with keeps talking sweetly about working for being with you, you need to see if the plans are realistic. Don't just fall for any sweet-talks traps. Long-distance relationships are not a game. They take a real commitment that involves feelings and time. Look again: Does that person really want to be with you?

Be able to say you should, not ask should I.

Give some time to get to know the person. See if the person is worth the trust and love that you will put int the relationship. Honey, I know how beautiful it is to work so hard just to be with someone. Getting to know their lives, their friends and how they really are in a relationship will give you more insights to decide whether you should try or not.

The right person will make you think that you should instead of making a question mark inside your head about should you give it a try or not. When you have doubts, trust your gut. The right person will give you the vibe to make you choose them instead of making you thinking twice to be with them.

Once again, even if the person has all of these attributes, they will still likely hurt you or disappoint you at some point. All relationships are a learning process. It's OK to be hurt, but it is wiser to have your walls built up before it is torn.

What makes you so sure to take the risk and be with your S/O?

Types of Guys You Should Never Bother Dating Long Distance

“His girl is moving to Italy? I don’t think it could work, man. It’s an LDR. It’s never gonna work out.”

I heard a friend I've known for a while say this recently, and it took a lot of patience to not have a violent reaction to it. I realized that he is just one of those guys who would never understand long-distance relationships. These are the guys you should never even dare to date long distance.

I’ve always been a supporter of long-distance dating, even when I am not in one. I find it really sad when people say something negative about LDRs. I’ve been in several long-distance relationships, and I can say that even though not all LDRs work out, many of them not only survive—they thrive.

You just have to take the time to get to know people first to see if you can date them long distance. If dating men who live far away is something you really like to do, or if you, like me, who believe that meeting the man of my life is not limited by distance, there are things you have to consider first.


You have to be very critical. Determine which kinds of men you should never bother dating long distance and which are worth having a relationship with.

I have probably dated three or four men who live on different sides of the world. Each relationship had its good sides and bad sides. But they are each the type of man I would never, ever bother dating again. Why? Let’s see what kinds of people they are.

The pessimistic one

This is the guy who would constantly think that it is never going to work out if you just stay in an LDR for a long time. He may tell you he really likes you, but he just does not see any future with you if you do not live in the same place at the same time.

The pessimistic one includes my friend who always says negative things about long-distance dating. Even when you try to help him understand, he won’t.

If you date a guy who always says negative things, then it would also probably make you feel bad all the time, and it would not make for a good long-distance relationship.

The unsure one

This guy really likes you, and he wants things to work out between the two of you, but he is just not sure about it. It is kind of difficult to deal with this kind of guy since his uncertainty will most definitely affect how you feel about your relationship.

The guy you date must be able to provide stability in your relationship. If he is unsure about what he wants, then you will also constantly worry about it. That is not something you would want in a long-distance relationship.

The one with no definite plans

When we get into any kinds of relationship, we, of course, hope that we could make future plans with the person we are with. We want to have something we can look forward to. If you are in an LDR, planning visits, thinking of things to do when you are apart and when you are together, and, of course, closing the distance are some of the important things we do. If someone you are trying to get into a relationship with does not have any definite plans and cannot give you any concrete details about what he wants to do in the future, then that will make long-distance dating very difficult.

The one-way-street one

This is the guy who won’t make any extra effort to please you or make you happy. Instead, this guy would probably always make things be a little bit more complicated and hard for you. I’d say no to this guy because no one deserves to be given tough love, especially if you are also doing your best to put in extra effort for him.

The hot-and-cold one

One day, this guy is all over you, sending you so many messages asking what you are doing just to get your attention. Then, the next day, he becomes quiet and a cold. Stay away from this guy.

The one who does not think communication is important

In a long-distance relationship, constant communication is the most important thing of all. You do not get to see each other every day, but it is a basic rule that if you want to get involved in each other’s lives, you have to make sure you can talk—no matter how busy you both are.

The one who does not get you involved in his life

When you are dating long distance, there are so many things you cannot do together, but with the help of modern technology, it is now possible to know what is going on with your partner. There are so many apps and programs you can use nowadays so you can defeat the constraints that distance impose on your relationship.

However, if you feel like this guy does not really want you to know everything that is going on with him, then he is not actually letting you into his life. How would you know what he likes and dislikes if he also restrains himself from telling you everything you want to know about?

The one who waits

You need a guy who will take charge and does not just wait for you to make the first move. You want him to be confident, to hold your hand and to guide you through things.

Two of the guys I dated long distance were actually my friends first. We lived and went to school together. Before our relationship turned into an LDR, we already knew each other too well. They weren’t the right fit for me to have an LDR with.

There are several qualities and characteristics that a guy you would dare to date long distance must have, and it is important that you are aware of these things. You have to be able to know if you are also willing to go against all odds and take the chance of getting in a relationship with them. Of course, you also have to give them the benefit of the doubt and try to see if you could both work things out. Loving someone requires understanding and patience, and you really need to try your best to love each other’s positive and negative sides.

What other types of men should you stay away from when getting into a long-distance relationship?

How to Make Up When You’re Far Apart

You know the feeling: You’ve gone too far, said too much. The nasty words spill out. Maybe you don't really mean them, but it's too late. You’ve already said it, and the silence—or the screaming—is excruciating. The long-distance lovers quarrel: Often it starts over nothing but has the potential to end everything.

It happened to me not all that long ago. I was tired and emotional, and I hadn't seen my boyfriend for a couple of weeks. I was fed up and feeling needy. So I said one thing after another that pushed all of his buttons until he snapped. I cried, and then I just stopped talking and hung up. Not my finest moment. In fact, it still makes me embarrassed. I might have even uttered the humiliating phrase "You don't even love me" completely out of context and out of the blue—just to get a reaction. It didn't work. It was a Skype call gone completely and embarrassingly wrong. All I wanted was a little reassurance. Instead, I made him mad and myself upset.

I started the fight. So it was me who had to fix it. But how do you make up when you’re far apart? What is the best way do that when you are far away and feeling vulnerable? When he is angry and annoyed? When you can't just hug and make up.

Here are five ways to make up even when you’re far apart.


There is no avoiding it, and the quicker it happens the better you will feel. We all know how a girl’s mind works. We tend to overanalyze to the point of exhaustion, and we make ourselves sick in the process. So let's learn to cut to the chase. Send that text or jump back on the phone to genuinely apologize. I agree that it can really suck having to say you are sorry, but it really is the most important part of making up. Whether you started it or not, saying "I am sorry for making you feel this way/like that" is a sure-fire way of resolving the argument quickly. But you have to mean it. You don't have to feel bad for something you did, but you do have to acknowledge your part in the disagreement and want to resolve it enough to utter those three important words.

Communicate clearly

Explain your feelings as clearly as you possibly can. Tell your sweetheart what caused you to become upset, to say what you said, to come to the actions you did. If it was because you felt stressed, tired or hormonal, then explain that it is actually not them and that you were just frustrated that you couldn't de-stress in their company, that you couldn't snuggle up in their arms. If the reason you began or participated in the fight was because there is a deeper relationship issue, then be brave and state your feelings. Be very careful not to go into attack mode. Just explain what the issue feels like to you. Write it down beforehand to really understand for yourself. Always get to the heart of the problem. And once you know what it was all about, state it objectively. For example, don't say “You always embarrass me," as it is too general and accusatory. Instead, try saying something specific, such as, "I find it really hurtful when you say that I am a bad cook to our friends." Be specific and clear about how the issue makes you feel.

Let it go

Once you have explained yourself and apologized genuinely, let it go. The golden rule is that you cannot bring it up again or use it in a future fight. Deal with the issue properly, find the root cause and then move on. This is absolutely essential for a happy relationship. After all, we all make mistakes. We shouldn't have to live in fear of them being raised during every disagreement.

Show love

Now that you have let it go and moved on, go right back to showing love. We are adults. Let's not play games. So that means no digital silent treatment or overindulgence of attention. The issue has been put to bed. So say you love each other, and choose to change your attitude. It never hurts to send a little love, either.

Predict the problem

We all get tired and emotional at times. In future, if you feel a mini meltdown coming on, don't pick up the phone or log onto the computer unless you feel you can actually talk it through and not cause an issue. Instead, show yourself some love: Go for a walk. Take a nap. Do something creative such as drawing, crafting or writing. Spend time with a pet. Once you feel a little less vulnerable and less likely to cause a fight, then call your sweetheart. It's too easy to take out the stresses of life on the one we love most. Know yourself well, and avoid making their day miserable.

If you are looking for idea on how you can take care of your sick partner while you're apart, we have some ideas that may help you strengthen the bond! 

Long-distance love works if you work it. And knowing how to make up is a key tool in your long-distance toolbox. I'd love to hear how you make up and manage these sometimes unavoidable issues. Do you agree with the list above?

Four Signs You Can Trust Your Long-distance Love

Nothing about being in a long-distance relationship is easy. We all have read it many times before: Long-distance relationships require commitment and, most importantly, trust. There are times where we’ve found ourselves questioning things. Is this worth it? Can I trust my significant other?

I have found myself asking those questions as well. Things were not in their best state with my man, and I couldn’t help but question our relationship. But as I calmed myself down and reflected on our relationship, I realized that I had no reason to worry. After carefully looking at the signs, I knew that I can always trust my man.

Here are four signs that made me realize I can trust my long-distance relationship.

He introduced his world to me

Since day one, my man had opened up his world to me. He shared every detail about his daily activities, from his favorite song to where he usually shops for groceries. He told stories, sent pictures and explained things, all to make me familiar with his world. The case might be different for other relationships; maybe your significant other isn’t as open as mine. But look into the smallest details because even the simplest things can mean that he is open about his life to you.

In my case, even though we are miles apart and have never lived together, knowing the details of his daily life gives me more comfort and assurance being in this long-distance relationship. Knowing those details also helped when it was finally time for me to visit his place. Even though it was my first time traveling to his home, it did not feel foreign at all. I could adapt faster to the environment and his surroundings. Feeling comfortable in his world is so important to me because, at the end of the day, it will be my world, too, when we close the distance.

He introduced me to his family and friends

Even before I visited him for the first time, my man had already introduced me to his family. I remember we were having a call, talking randomly about this and that, when suddenly his mother came to his place. Without hesitating, he told his mother that he was on a call with his girlfriend. He invited his mother to the camera and introduced us. To be honest, I was caught off guard. We had only started dating recently, and I didn’t realize that he would introduce me to his mother so soon. Lucky for me, the introduction went well, and it was not long before he began to introduce me to the rest of his family and his close friends. I might not know everybody yet, but at least I know the most important people in his life. To me, it was a sign that I really mean something to him. I’m not just some girl he met on a holiday destination. It might take some time for your significant other to introduce you to his closest people, but when he does, it is a sign that he values your relationship.

He talks about his feelings

I love the fact that my man is being open to me. I feel that being open to each other is really important in a relationship, especially when distance is involved. Being open enhances emotional connection and can bring two people closer despite limited physical connection. I know that men are different than us women. They don’t really like to open up, and they often keep their feelings to themselves. So when my man started to tell me his feelings, I knew that he trusted me, and there are no reasons for me not to trust him back. So leave all your worries behind when you know your significant other trusts you with his feelings.

He talks about the future

Another sign that you can trust your long-distance relationship love is when your significant other talks about future with you. Talking about the future can be as simple as planning your next meeting to as serious as how you are going to spend the rest of your lives together. Though we have not talked about anything more than closing the distance, I know that I can trust the relationship because my man includes me in his future plans.

There are tons of other reasons why I can trust my long-distance relationship, but most importantly, I can see it in his eyes, and I can feel it from his actions. All my instincts direct me to trust him, so I do.

When you find yourself in doubt, take a deep breath, and spend some time to reflect on your relationship. You can try to look at the signs I mentioned above, but it is more important that you are able to see and feel it yourself. After all, trust is something that is shown from life’s daily actions.

Long distance relationships are not easy, it takes a lot of work and effort from you and your partner. It also requires for you to accept some things that can spark problems in your relationship. 

The 10 Best Pieces Of Advice For Long Distance Relationships

This week, I shared the 10 best pieces of advice for long-distance relationships on Modern Love Long DistanceRelationships are never easy. Life is messy, and good relationships don’t just happen. They take a lot of work. Throw distance into the mix, and you have even more baggage—literally and figuratively—to deal with. But for the right person, it’s worth it.

For years, my long-distance partner and I dealt with time differences (he lived in the Netherlands, and I lived in the U.S.), frustrating misunderstandings and confusing circumstances. We did everything we could to make our long-distance relationship work—and I mean everything—and I am happy to say we bridged the gap and recently got married.

To read my advice on how to keep the romance alive, the loneliness at bay and the end in sight, head on over to Modern Love Long Distance.

You can also read some of our articles about the lessons you learn from being in a long distance relationship

Best Apps for LDR Couples to Watch Videos in Synch

Don’t miss out on the ability to watch movies together online because of distance. Apps for long-distance movie night exist! Do stuff via your WiFi connection and be together even when you’re not.

Technology is amazing, and there are services out there that make long-distance relationships a little simpler. Whether you want to watch movies together online, stream music together, study together, or just be together, these apps for long-distance movie night have you covered!

Check out these three apps for long-distance movie night.

Continue Reading

This App Will Help You Survive Your LDR


Couple’s tag line is, ‘The App for Two.’ And it truly is the app for two.

When you download the app, it tells you to log in and asks you to invite your significant other via email. Once you’re in, you can customize your corner together. You can set a profile picture and a cover photo for each other and have a messaging app that is just between the two of you. But Couple isn’t just another messaging app.

Continue reading “This App Will Help You Survive Your LDR”

Six Packing Tips for a Memorable Long-distance Visit

After all of those text messages, phone calls and emails, it’s finally time to go. The six countdown apps on your phone and the widget that counts down the seconds on your computer’s home screen have finally hit zero. You thought the moment would never arrive, but it’s here. It’s time.

But what do you wear? What do you pack?

If you’re like me, it’s too easy to imagine 30 scenarios of how we’ll reunite and what her face will look like when she sees me in each of my 76 outfits. So I like to leave packing to the very last minute. Otherwise, I’ll just have to pack again. I can’t leave time to second-guess myself.

Here are a few packing tips for long-distance visits that I’ve learned that make the whole process as easy and stress-free as possible.

Something Old


Pack something old to bring with you. It might be clothes. It could be a stuffed animal. It could be the first card your significant other gave you. The point is to pack something poignant, something that has meaning for both of you. Is it his T-shirt you stole to sleep in? Bring it, and wear it to bed. Is it a handwritten letter that meant everything to you? Bring it, and read it out loud. Maybe it’s photos from the best time you ever had with them. Bring them, and share. This is a time when you two can sit down and reconnect, and memories are a great way to do that. Chances are if it moves you, it will move them, too.

Me? I brought her favorite candy. I can’t even begin to tell you how many boxes we’ve eaten in our time together. (But don’t worry: It was fresh candy, not old candy.)

Something New


Bring something new with you. Odds are that your life hasn’t been at a complete standstill since you’ve last seen each other. Bring a part of your life with you. Show them that no matter how much time and distance separate you, they are still very much a part of your day-to-day life.

I brought my newest tattoo. (I mean, it’s not like I could leave it behind, right?) It says, “This too shall pass,” in Spanish, her first language, and in her handwriting. But you don’t have to run out and get a tattoo. Bring an award that you won. Bring photos of something new that you tried. Bring something lacy that they’ve never seen before.

Something Borrowed

Make sure to pack something of theirs that’s been left behind. This can be that old T-shirt we were talking about earlier or a piece of jewelry—anything you have of theirs that you cherish. Make sure that they understand the significance of this totem.

I brought her half-empty box of allergy medicine. I know that sounds silly, but she was amused that I left it just waiting for her to return home. But when you have allergies like she does, Claritin-D is no laughing matter.

The point I’m making here is that it is theirs. Bring it to them. Show them that there are days when you need this magical half-empty box of medicine to catch your eye and help you get through your day.

Something Blue

OK, it might not blue for everyone, but blue is my girl’s favorite color. Find something that you know they’ll absolutely love in something that is their favorite color, smell, Marvel superhero. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it has significance for you both.

What did I bring? Well, it was blue and lacy. The point to make here is that you are still in touch with their favorite things. Maybe they really love dinosaurs—no wait, that’s me. I love dinosaurs. Bring something for them that you know will rock their socks. It can be a gift for them—or a gift for them to appreciate on you. Whatever strikes your fancy and is representative to you both of your relationship.

Something Sweet


Make sure to pack something sweet and romantic. I had custom bracelets made that have the coordinates of the beach where we spent all of last summer. I gave them to her with a sappy Valentine’s card. It was a week early, but we knew we wouldn’t be spending Valentine’s Day together, and we’re known to change holidays to suit our schedule. (That’s why the Christmas tree and stockings are still up in the den. The calendar is not the Boss of me.)

Bring something that is romantic for you both: a movie you both enjoy combined with a bag of popcorn for a night in, your favorite bubble bath and some scented candles, letters or postcards you’ve written and have been meaning to send but haven’t gotten around to yet.

I brought her a sticky sweet and uber sappy Valentine’s celebration. Did it work? Like a champ.

Something Spicy


Not everyone thinks in terms of food metaphors, but because she’s a chef, we do. I recommend bringing something spicy as well. It helps if it is something your other half has never seen before. I won’t go into a whole lot of detail, just know that I packed several options.

If lingerie isn’t your thing, bring something that makes you feel sexy. They’ll appreciate the thought, I promise. Maybe it’s a lotion that you love that makes you feel silky smooth. Maybe it’s lace. Maybe it’s leather. Just make sure you can get it through airport security with minimal embarrassment. Trust me on this one, too.

It’s all about making the most of the time you have together and closing the distance no matter how long you have together.

What do you think? Did I miss anything important that you absolutely wouldn’t want to miss packing?

Travel Tips for Long-distance Relationships

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you learn a thing or two about traveling. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that it is expensive. I usually have to save a couple months worth of paychecks before I can even think about going to see my significant other. But when you are in a long-distance relationship, you also learn a thing or two about how to save money and cut corners when traveling so you can make the most out of your visit once you're there. I have gained a number of tips within the past year.

Air Travel


Four things I’ve learned about air travel: Book early. Look at all your options. Try to fly at strange times or days. Do not pack anything of value.

I’ve read the “sweet spot” for booking a flight is usually 90 days out. That tends to be the window of time where flight rates are pretty low, depending on where you are looking to go.

Look at all of your options, too. Do you really need to spend an extra hundred dollars just so you can board first? Do you really need that extra leg room for an hour-long flight? Probably not. Don’t limit yourself to one airline. There are many choices, each with different price ranges.

Try not to book your flights on busy weekend days. This is probably common sense, but I did not think about it the first time I booked a flight. Everybody takes advantage of the weekend to travel, and airline companies know that, so they raise the prices on weekends and holidays. Try booking your flights on a Thursday or a Tuesday. You save money on your ticket, and getting through security is a lot easier.

Do not pack expensive items either. This might seem like a no-brainer. You probably wouldn't pack your laptop or a diamond bracelet in your suitcase. But I am also talking about little things. Don’t pack your $50 conditioner in your suitcase because it will explode, and you will have to go buy a new bottle. (True story.)



Driving can actually be a pretty cost-effective way of traveling. It might not be as fast or efficient as a plane, but you still, hopefully, get where you are going.

When driving, I would plan your route and book hotels in advance, especially for a longer trip. The biggest lesson I learned with booking hotels is that you should always do your research and book them online beforehand. Be wary of “bundle deals,” which don’t always translate to actually getting a deal. Do your research on the hotel, and see what their regular rates are. If you plan on staying near a major city, try looking for hotels on the outskirts of town to save a buck.

The biggest mistake I’ve made while on a road trip is trying to follow three different systems of mapping: my GPS, my phone’s GPS and printed out MapQuest directions. I got so turned around trying to figure which way to go that I ended up tacking on an additional five hours to my travel time, which meant more money on gas and more pit stops to buy food. It was a big waste of money. I suggest following one means and bringing one backup just in case.

Trains and Buses


Not many people choose to take the train or a bus, but they are often less expensive than a flight or a road trip. Depending on where you are going, the trip might take a day or two, but you save a good chunk of money. Plus, there is no way for you to get lost!

What are some things you do to be money smart while traveling?