If you’ve never been in a long-distance relationship (LDR) before, you’ve probably got a lot of questions. How do we make it work? What are some of the things I need to know about LDRs?
Every LDR is different, but there are a few things that everyone should be aware of. Here are five things I wish I knew about long-distance relationships. What I’ve learned might make your LDR easier and healthier! If you have any questions, leave me a comment below.
Be Honest and Clear About Your Expectations
You’ve met an amazing man (or woman) and you’ve both decided to stay together, even if there are thousands of miles between you. Why do you want to continue this?
That is a tough question and not one you can answer right away. The best thing about a new relationship is discovering each other and the potential you have to offer. You’re probably already thinking about where your LDR may or may not go. Don’t internalize this conversation. Include your partner and make it a dialogue. An assumption can be a killer for your long-distance relationship.
If you want to know why he or she wants to be in an LDR with you, ask. You may come to find that both of you may not be on the same page, and that’s okay. The sooner you figure out each other’s expectations – whether they align or not – the better.
The first thing to address is the fact that initially, you’re not asking each other for definitive, permanent plans. You should be discussing the commencement of the journey with questions: “Why you think this is right for the both of us?” “Where do you think this can lead?” “Why are we both in this?”
Want some help getting this conversation started? Check out, “50 Questions Every Long-Distance Couple Should Ask.”
Staying In Touch Keeps Your LDR Alive
No matter how your relationship started, the next step is always bridging the distance between you. Communication is what keeps you and your partner together.
Ask your partner how they prefer to keep in touch. Some people have preferences during the beginning stages and may just stick to email. But, before you choose, know that today, there are an array of communication services that can bridge the gap.
Typical communication methods include email, phone, texting, video chatting, social media connectivity and even gaming messaging.
Find out what your partner is comfortable with and what they aren’t yet ready for. Examples of things you may want to hold off on are open social media interactions until you know for sure where the relationship is going and you’ve announced it to friends and family.
Everyone is different, and this all goes back to the first thing you need to know about LDRs: be honest and clear about your expectations.
Intimacy is Natural – Don’t be Shy!
The lack of consistent physical attention can be a great burden on LDRs. Not addressing this elephant in the room can lead to frustration and the failure of your LDR.
There are a lot of ways for couples to be intimate in an LDR. Here’s just three:
Sexting can often be misunderstood as a “bad” thing, but, it can be a lot of fun – when the deed is done correctly. Trading titillating words and photos with your long-distance boyfriend (or girlfriend) can help keep you both satisfied. Sex is a natural and necessary part of your relationship, but sexting can be challenging for some women.
It’s okay if you feel a little intimidated. After this article, I recommend you read, “Ein weiblicher Leitfaden zum Sexting in Fernbeziehungen.”
Sex Toys for LDRs
Cybersex and sexting are even more fun when you can “touch” each other through the internet. You can with remote-control vibrators and sex toys for LDRs. Send your partner a remote control to your vibrator. Take the next step and involve him/her in your pleasure.
Not sure where to start? To help you out, we’ve reviewed, “The Best Remote-Controlled Vibrators for Long-Distance Sex.”
Video Cam Teases
Today, LDRs have something older generations didn’t have – the internet. For those steamy nights or just as a spontaneous show of affection, couples can use video chatting services for cam teases.
With some sexy outfits and the right lighting, the enticing show can breed a deeper connection to one another and increase the motivation to stay together.
Couples enjoy having photos of each other. You can take this one step further and send each other tantalizing boudoir photos.
Yes, this is a thing! Similar to the old days when sailors and soldiers would save photos of their partners dressed as pin-up girls, boudoir photography brings your partner into your bedroom. A professional photographer can come to your home and create a set of intimately posed, but tastefully elegant, photos for you to send to your partner.
You Can’t Just Text
Texting is a great way to stay in touch when you’re busy and on-the-go. It feels great to receive a thoughtful, silly text from your significant other during the day. However, an LDR can’t survive on just texting.
Text messages lack tone. It’s easy for you to miscommunicate with your partner and vice-versa. One of the worst things you can do is have a serious discussion through text message. Texting can help you talk about where you think your LDR is going and/or how you feel about each other – but it can’t be the whole conversation.
I recommend that you and your partner talk on the phone or webcam at least once a week. In order to have a healthy LDR. You need clear, personal and consistent communication.
You Can Go On Dates!
There are a lot of fun activities and romantic dates you can have in a long-distance relationship. All it takes is setting aside some time and a little bit of planning. It’s also a great idea to celebrate your milestones by going on dates! Here are just a few of my favorite LDR date night ideas:
Long-Distance Movie Night
Set-up a long-distance movie night with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Netflix, Amazon Video and Vudu are great. Just sync your video start time and relax.
Order takeout together and have an LDR dinner date. Or, you both can cook dinner at home and video chat while you cook. Just sit down and enjoy a meal together screen-to-screen. It is one of the most rewarding experiences and over time, it feels like you’re both physically present.
Start a Project Together
Collaborate on an art project – something physical that you can send back and forth in the mail. You can also do this with a hobby.
Board Games Aren’t Dead
Board games aren’t dead, or off the table. You both can buy the same board game and play each other over webcam. Make sure the board is viewable, no cheating allowed.
Survive Your Long-Distance Relationship
I hope you’ve enjoyed this article. These lessons I’ve learned from my LDRs can help you stay strong in your relationship. If your long-distance relationship is in trouble, and you’re worried you won’t survive the LDR, reach out to me.
Let’s talk about how we can make your LDR strong, sexy and fun! Set up a Survive LDR Consultation with us today.