Starting a new relationship is always exciting. Love is definitely in the air, and both of you are feeling the butterflies. But what if there’s distance involved between the two of you?
Being in a long-distance relationship for more than three years now (and still going strong!), I remember the earlier days of my own relationship. Of course, I was happy! I finally found someone! We were adapting to our new status as a couple, and everything was exciting, especially when we started to discuss things as us, not separate you or me anymore.
Butterflies in my stomach were definitely there. I remember days when all I could think of was my video call schedule with my man before bedtime.
Ah, those honeymoon days.
Then as time went on and my relationship was progressing, I realized that being in a relationship, especially a long-distance relationship, is not always about rainbows and butterflies.
Over time, and based on my experiences, I learned how to keep my relationship as strong and as happy as our honeymoon days. In this post, I’m going to share the five most important things for how to survive a long-distance relationship.
I believe that knowing yourself is essential in making a relationship work, especially when distance is involved. Without knowing who you really are and what you really want in life, I think one will have the tendency to be fragile. When one’s fragile, one will have lots of questions and lots of worry and will tend to be insecure. In most cases, insecurity leads to jealousy. And we all know that jealousy will do no good to any relationship, especially in the early days.
In more simple terms: Love yourself! Love yourself enough to become the center of your own universe. Have your own hobbies, determine your own goals and let your significant other be the partner in your activities.
There were times when I used to be sad and mellow because my man was not present. I got sad when I was out and saw a couple walking side by side. I even got sad when I heard our song played on the radio. I wished that he was next to me so we could sing the song together. Without me realizing it, I became a nagging girlfriend because I was mellow. It caused friction in our relationship, but thankfully, I realized my mistake, stopped being mellow and managed to patch the relationship.
Fast forward to today, I now love myself enough to enjoy my own company and do my own activities. I can enjoy me-time and my time with family and friends, even though my man is not with me physically.
We all have heard it before: Trust is essential in a long-distance relationship. I believe that it is important for the two of you to have mutual trust so that you are on the same page and will not hurt each other intentionally. That way, your bond will be strong, and you can face whatever obstacles coming your way.
Two people who have mutual trust will be honest and faithful toward each other. These two things are important because there will always be chances to lie or to cover up things. There will also be opportunities for other relationship to grow between the two of you. But remember why you were there in the first place. Respect your partner, and be honest.
For this matter, I am super thankful for internet and video call. My significant other and I maintain a regular video call sessions, and we both always try to stick with it. We call once a day, even though it lasts for less than five minutes. But we try to keep each other’s presence in our busy lives. This may or may not work for you, so whatever it is, try to find your own flow.
Last but not least, I think it is really important to enjoy the ride. If you are enjoying the ride, it will be easier to carry on. It’s a tough one, I have to admit, but always try to find small things that can keep the flame alive between the two of you. Keep the hope. Keep the love. Then without you realizing, it’s time to be reunited again. Or even better, it’s time to close the distance and finally be one!
If you are scared to enter a long distance relationship, read about our real-life experience on how to let go of your fear and just enjoy the ride.
I hope that those points can help you in going through and maintaining your long-distance relationship. Just like wine, I believe that a good relationship will get better over time. Of course, there will be obstacles and hard times, but as long as you keep your faith and keep the love, it will be OK in the end. Good luck, my fellow LDR couples!
Christa is in a long-distance relationship with an amazing man she met during an extraordinary holiday. Unlike many holiday flings, this one gets better each day, and they are now preparing to close the distance. She lives in Indonesia, 8000 miles apart from his man. Read her stories about life (including some LDR stories) at her website, christabercerita.com.
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