Just like any regular relationship, long distance relationships may start with a lot of uncertainty. It is common to have LDR questions. Perhaps you are thinking whether it is better to stay or not to stay. Especially, when the relationship is still at an early stage.
Let’s say you met this amazing person while you were on a holiday (psst… that happened to me!), you two hit it off instantly, had a briefly amazing time and decided to take a step further. You started to be in a long distance relationship.
You started to put some efforts and tried to make it work. As time goes by, things may change. It may be still as good as when you were together, or maybe not. Then you start to question yourself. Should you stay? Or should you just end this long distance relationship?
Trust me, I felt the same way too. Back then, I used to have the same question over and over again. I was not sure whether I should keep fighting and make my long distance relationship work, of if I should just let it go and move on with my life. In this post, I am going to share some things that I considered before I was finally able to make a decision. First of all, I checked some Red Flags in a long distance relationship. Then I discussed it with my man and fixed them together. Then, I also analysed three things that I will share below.
To me, having an end goal in a relationship is important. I was at a stage in life where I did not want just another fling, and that’s the first thing that I brought up with my man. Having a mutual end goal here does not necessarily mean that we have discussed marriage since day one. But I knew I had to make sure that my man and I were on the same page.
I believe that it was important to me to know that what I want is aligned with what my man wants. At that time, we both knew that we did not want another fling. We both wanted to try to make it work and eventually close the distance. With that knowledge in mind, I became less doubtful and was able to have more faith my long distance relationship.
Well, I am aware that communication is widely mentioned in LDR-related articles. Still, that does not keep me from emphasizing how important communication is. When I had doubts in my LDR, I like to assess my communication method with my man. Can we both communicate our thoughts well with each other? Are we both honest and open with each other?
Since the answers to both questions are yes, I decided to throw away my doubt. I believe that there is no need to be worried and doubtful towards your long distance relationship if both of you can communicate well, and most importantly honest with each other.
Undoubtedly, being in a long distance relationship requires extra effort. I know that there are times that it can get really tiring. There are also times when you feel like you want to give up. That’s an example of a time where I believe that both parties have to do extra effort to maintain the relationship.
However, you might want to question your relationship if one of you have started to do less effort than the other. The effort here can be as simple as maintaining a Skype routine call, or it can also be as big as an effort to close the distance. Whatever is the case, it has to be mutual. Nobody wants to be in a relationship that is not mutual, especially when you are in a long distance relationship.
When you are having second thoughts with you long distance relationship, assessing your commitment might be a good idea. A good relationship must have a mutual commitment. After all, you are investing your feelings and time towards your significant other. It's only fair if your significant other is doing the same thing for you.
I believe that having a mutual commitment can be solid ground to your long distance relationship. Without it, it may be easy for a party to steer away from the relationship. If one is committed, he/she will have to think twice if they want to do something unfaithful.
Now, one question remains. Do you and your significant other have a mutual commitment? If the answer is yes, I believe that you won't have a lot to worry!
Feeling doubts and having LDR questions are totally common in a long distance relationship. However, don't worry too much! Instead, talk about it with your significant other to find a solution together. Good luck, my fellow LDR couples!
Christa is in a long-distance relationship with an amazing man she met during an extraordinary holiday. Unlike many holiday flings, this one gets better each day, and they are now preparing to close the distance. She lives in Indonesia, 8000 miles apart from his man. Read her stories about life (including some LDR stories) at her website, christabercerita.com.