It is not a secret anymore that communication is a key factor in making a long distance relationship work. I have heard a lot of stories of why long distance relationships fail, and a significant number that were caused by problems in communication
Thus, in this post, I will share some strategies based on my own experience, in hopes that we all can benefit from them and keep our long distance relationships strong!
I believe this is basic. My man and I maintain a regular call session and we both are committed to following it. We normally do Facetime (or audio Facetime) twice a day, even though it only lasts for 5 minutes. This is our way of keeping each other’s presence in between our daily errands. When it is the weekend and we have more time to spend together, we can use the time to have longer call or even do some online date activities together. This may or may not work for you and your partner, but be sure to try to find a flow that you both agree on, however it is.
I did not have this kind of flow in my last relationship. Thus, we kept struggling to find time to communicate. The struggle led to expectations and when one of us failed to meet those expectations, problems would arise. The rest is history.
Listening might not be as simple as it seems. Most times, misunderstandings in a relationship happened because one person fails to listen. By listening, I mean giving your best effort to understand your significant other, especially when you are discussing a particular matter.
Often times, the arguments I had with my man happened because one of us failed to listen to each other. There was a time when we were so deeply involved in a serious conversation and I failed to listen to what he actually meant. We had a brief argument because he was frustrated that I did not get him. Over time I understand. Had I listened to him more carefully, I would have been able to understand him better and there would not be any arguments. But what’s done is done; I am now learning to be a better listener for my man.
This particular strategy is essential when you are having an argument. Because distance is involved, sometimes there is a tendency to become aggressive when you are expressing your thoughts, which can lead to arguments. However, it is important to know when to stop and give space. It’s ok not to resolve your issues in one setting.
This does not mean that you push away issues and simply ignore them, but sometimes, it is better to stop in order to be able to reflect, and come back with a fresh mind. That way, you can clear any misunderstandings and also more easily solve your problems.
The most important thing about being in a long distance relationship is that you have to be able to be open, honest, and sincere with each other. Do not hold back any emotions; don’t keep all your thoughts to yourself, especially when it relates to your relationship.
Express everything that you are concerned about, anything that may make you feel worried. Be sincere in expressing your feelings, and make sure that your significant other feels the love. Because if it’s not communicated properly, your significant other would not know it and that can do no good for your relationship.
In my previous relationship, I used to hold back a lot of my worry and concerns. I did not communicate my feelings to my ex-boyfriend; instead, I decided to keep them to myself. That made insecurities grow and those insecurities made our relationship fell apart. Of course, I don’t want it to happen in my current relationship so I always try to be honest and sincere with my man.
Sometimes, you or your partner may be going through a tough time too and this can create a gap in the relationship. That's why it's important to be honest and sincere, so you can always help each other and trust each other enough even with the distance.
Related to the previous point in being sincere, what is also important is to create a deep connection between the two of you. To make up for the lost physical connection, being able to communicate your love and affection towards each other is very important to keep your relationship strong.
Don’t be shy. It can be as simple as telling each other, “I love you”. Even more, you can try to use nicknames that only two of you understand. Although simple, those things may help to strengthen your bond as a couple.
Those are the five tips from me to make sure the communication between you and your significant other works well and can strengthen your relationship. Do you have any other tips that you would like to share? Let me know in the comment section below.
If you are having trouble with jealousy in your long distance relationship, we have dedicated an article for the topic.
As always, good luck, my fellow LDR couples! Keep the love going strong!
Christa is in a long-distance relationship with an amazing man she met during an extraordinary holiday. Unlike many holiday flings, this one gets better each day, and they are now preparing to close the distance. She lives in Indonesia, 8000 miles apart from his man. Read her stories about life (including some LDR stories) at her website, christabercerita.com.
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