Writing this article comes as a good, much-needed reminder to myself as I am leaving my boyfriend’s country in under a week. While nobody is spared from tears when dating someone from the other side of the globe, there are ways to make it work without feeling like you’re slowly dying inside all the time. I’m here to help you out; let’s dry those tears and put a smile on our faces!
Not a day goes by that my boyfriend and don’t call and text each other! It’s so important, I cannot stress this enough. Staying in contact is the number one thing to glue you together. I get that life gets busy and, trust me, with 8-11 time zones in between us, it can get a bit tedious trying to make schedules match. But if you work hard for it, even if it’s only 30 minutes a day, it will change your relationship positively.
You will definitely miss the physicality when you’re apart, but at least daily calls keep you from missing out on their daily lives. Skype calls are fun. You will laugh your heart out, and they will put a smile on your face. For me, I sometimes forget there’s anything in between when Jade and I call each other. I also love to fall asleep with Skype open.
Closing the distance is one of the reasons why you’re keeping your relationship alive, right? Talking about the future will keep the necessary hope alive and lets you also emotionally prepare for things getting better soon!
I like to keep myself far away from boredom when alone. Of course, if you work or study your days will likely be filled with activities, however, there will always be a time when you hit the bottom and can’t stop thinking how much you miss your significant other. Then comes the tears, flooding out of your eyes and before you know it, you’re not going to be able to stop it. If you know what triggers these meltdowns, try to keep away from them, for the most part at least. Starting a new hobby serves as a good distraction, makes you focus on something else and possibly benefits you!
I like to do typography, take pictures, and write poems. Whatever floats your boat.
My mum used to tell me that crying purifies your soul, and I firmly keep on believing that. If you have all these big feelings stuck inside you and you don’t let yourself rid of them every now and then, they will make you feel even worse and at some point, you will, less or more, explode. So let yourself cry, it’s perfectly normal and good for you.
Schedule your visits so that you have something to look forward to. You don’t necessarily have to have exact dates to refer to or plane tickets already booked, even if you only know that you’re going to see next Christmas, it’s already enough to cheer you up a little (or a lot!). Counting down days might just be the thing you need if you’re feeling low.
Chances are that at some point you will be moving away from them, so soak up those precious moments with them! I have a lot of time that I need to spend without contact with my partner due to the time difference, so spending it with my friends and family is always good. In my case, I will be moving first to Scotland for school and then to California to close the distance with my boyfriend, so it is good to spend every minute you can with the people that mean a lot to you.
Long distance relationships are hard even without arguing about the smallest of things. Try to calm yourself down when something annoys you and talk about things in a calmer manner. You will regret spending your precious time arguing about the smallest of things that you would otherwise forget. Remember this the next time you want to pick up an argument over a tiny little thing.
This is a huge one for me, personally. There are a lot of people ready to define your relationship and tell you it has been doomed since the beginning, but don’t listen to those people! They’re wrong about it! Nobody else gets to define it for you, nobody. People are often just trying to help you, thinking that their perception is the right one and that they will save you from the heartache. Try to explain to them that that is not the case, that you’re ready to fight for your relationship and that you believe in it.
What are your tips for surviving LDR? Share them with us in the comments below!
Anna is a bibliophile and soon-to-be English student originally from Finland but moving to Scotland in autumn 2016. Her movie-loving boyfriend lives in California, and they’ve been successfully dating since 2013.
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